The Unlucky Twelve
by sa-chan2000
Summary: Twelve unlucky people stumble across the Holy Sword, Excalibur... ON HIATUS!
1. The First Unlucky One

"**FOOL!"** A large cane was jabbed in my face as the... uh...'Thing' craned his neck up to face me. I felt my face stretch into a weird pose as I tried to avoid the cane from poking me constantly in the nose.  
>"Hey, creepy dude. Look, I'm just here cos' I'm los~" I was about to continue, but a voice which basically screamed annoying butted in,<br>"Oh, I know that, Kairi Lee!" The lame thing rejoiced in glee, as he kept ushering his cane to and fro, hitting my face on few occasions, until I had enough.  
>"Get...that...thing...away from...me" My voice and tone clearly stated that I was 'angry', but to no avail did he stop. "GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME YOU LAME BASTARD! HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW MY NAME ANYWAY?"<br>"FOOL! Excalibur knows all. My legend dates back to the twelfth century! It was an early Spring morning, no, wait, no... Ah, yes that's right it was winter... but... there were leaves on the ground... So an Autumn day it was! I had just started my morning with a cup of coffee and cream! Don't forget that, by the way, that's provision number 1. So remember it! Now back to my legen~ WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD?" He... or at least I assumed it was a he, lowered his cane as he yelled another question at my face. May as well answer, just to make him happy. I gave a long sigh, and gave my reply.  
>"I..umm.. Carrots... but I can't stand~"<br>"FOOL! What right do you have to choose a favourite food! Provision number 278: You must never permit carrots in my meals, for Excalibur hates carrots!  
>Provision No. 349: You must never violate my food preferences, and you," He began, pointing his cane in random directions," have just violated my food preferences! And, WHAT, exactly can't you stand? Provision No. 349 of the 1,000 provisions you must observe. Meisters should eat everything regardless of personal likes and dislikes. Never say anything as selfish as "I like carrots, but you hate..." again." Then, he began an AMAZINGLY lame speech about 'Dehumidifiers'. Now, I was officially pissed.<br>A low grumbling sound was coming from my mouth.  
>"HEY, TOP HAT DUDE! WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT THE HELL UP FOR ONCE, AND DO YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME, CREEP?"<p>

"FOOL! Excalibur knows all! Your name is Kairi Lee, you're a meister, you attend shibusen, your weapon is Kiroso Bascal, and he's a glove you use to shoot your soul wavelength. Kishin souls you have collected is... 75! I know your secrets, from when you went to your first class in Shibusen even when you stole Kiroso's co~" I abruptly cut the... uhhh... 'Beast?' off by cupping my hand over his gob.  
>"Ok, Excalibur knows all!" I attempted to say, trying to talk in his tone, but failed drastically. I marched my way to the exit of the cave, but to be stopped; the cave was then surrounded by complete darkness, when a bright light came, and, suddenly, we were in some sort of an alley, with dumpsters and random boxes perched on top. In the distance I heard a faint echo of clicking noises. A <em>huge<em> spotlight landed in-front of Excalibur, now surrounded by some geeky looking men, some smoking ciggys, with hair like 'Elvis Presley.' The average of them with shades on. Faint music came on, with Excalibur taking small steps, and his 'entourage' strutting three steps behind him, clicking their fingers, all in sync.  
>"Provision number 473: Always walk three steps behind Excalibur. It was those type of days when there was fighting and such," as the word fighting was said, the gang behind him actually started fighting, and random cartoonish words appeared out from nowhere. "Then, I knew nothing about anything. I had my black mop of hair, and my, as what you would call it, 'Bling'." They stopped fighting and were suddenly in a car, the wheels screeching with the speed they were going at, only they weren't actually going anywhere. A black heap of hair sprouted out from under Excalibur, his cane became encrusted with golden diamonds, and from around his neck came a large number 12 attached by a chain. "I was the top dawg, as our young youths would say, and I also found one meister who was compatible with me." He thrusted a picture, of what I assumed was his so-called 'meister'. "She was my favourite," he continued with his speech, until a booming majestic voice came from behind me. "EXCALIBUR! How can you say that! I was the best, heck, I was a king!"<br>"FOOL! Arthur, the only reason you were a king was because you wielded _me! _FOOL! I was the one who got you to the top. Anyone could have become the King, just by wielding me, but they just didn't stick around for long~" Excalibur boomed back at who was supposedly 'King Arthur', until Excalibur was silent for a few seconds, then, from his abnormally large eye, escaped a tear, I guessed it was. He was still for a minute longer, 'till I broke the silence.  
>"Yo! Top Hat, Are you gonna~" My mouth went silent as a hand clamped over my mouth, preventing me from saying nothing.<br>" Excalibur's new meister! Listen. Provision number 58. When Excalibur's humming a tune to himself, never talk to him." Arthur told me, just trying to warn me, I presume, but what he said earlier, It really got on my nerves. I licked his hand, and, just as I thought, jerked his hand away from my mouth, shocked and disgusted. "One: I am **not **and **never **will be **Excalibur's meister**! I don't give a damn about his provisions either!" I exclaimed. I ran over to Excalibur, who was frozen, still humming to himself, and kicked his hat off his head, darting back to the archway, aiming for the exit. Craning my neck to look at the two people... well, the supposed to-be dead king, and the, ummm... well, what is Excalibur anyway? I don't know.  
>"You're both FOOLS!" I shouted across the cave, projecting my voice, whilst my feet hit the depths of the icy cold water on the floor. I ran all the way out of the cave, with some fairies giggling and saying Excalibur's name, my face was pulled into an awkward position the whole time. Light hit my face as my soaking feet touched dry, proper ground. I collapsed to the ground in a wet heap. All was still until someone was poking and prodding my face, shouting my name.<br>"Hey, hey. Hey. HEY!" My eyes fluttered open, and then I saw the familiar face of my partner. "Kairi, where've you been all this time, huh?" Kuroso smiled down at me, and helped me to stand up.  
>"Oh, well, you know, here and there, umm, I'd rather not talk about it, can we just go home?" I asked Kuroso, walking ahead of him.<br>"Hey, Kairi! I was wondering, have you ever heard of the Holy Sword, Excalibur?" I came to a halt and turned my head to face my weapon. My face turning into the same awkward position I had used many times today. My reply sounded sarcastic. "You don't wanna know, trust me." I stalked away, heading back to Death City, Kuroso finally catching up with me. Never again do I want to see or hear **anything **about the so-called Holy Sword, Excalibur.  
>~<strong>OoO~<strong>

**A/N: Well, I hope you guys liked my first Excalibur story, my second Soul Eater story, but what I need you guys to do, if you want me to continue this story, is to make some OC's. So, if you wanna make one, the first person to review every chapter, with the listed things required to make an OC i.e. name, looks, weapon ect. Gets to star in a chapter of my story!**

**So, if your OC wants to star in my story, complete the table below and review, that doesn't stop people who ****just ****want to review, just to let you know! (I hope all of this makes sense!)**

Name:  
>Looks:<br>Age:  
>Personality (Hot-headed, caring ect.):<br>What type of Meister are you:  
>Weapon's name, form ect.:<br>Any other information, requests?:

**Meisters only! Sorry people! Ideas and advice appreciated thanks! Hope you liked this, but I can't update until I get at least one entry for the OC's! See ya soon!**


	2. This is not a chapter!

**THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER!**

**x~OoO~x**

**As you guys know, I haven't done a thing with this for four months now, but I am just writing to confirm that this story is going to be on Hiatus for a while. But when I do get back, I will write a chapter for all of these names listed:**

**LoneWolfe2  
>SerenaLolipop<br>The uncoloured rainbow  
>Who wants a bowl full of YUKI<strong>

**Because they are the only few who have requested a chap. I will write a part for you guys, but of course it will be ages away ( hopefully not~) . I have to say I'm really looking forward to write with all these characters they've come up with too!**

**I hope you've all had a awesome holiday, and a Happy New Year to all you peeps out there! Bye-bye~ :D**


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